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There is Still Nothing Good about Goodbye

Two years ago this week I wrote one of my most popular posts of all time, There is Nothing Good about Goodbye. In case you missed it, here is the link

For the record, nothing has changed. There is still nothing good about goodbye. It has happened again. Only this time it is heartbreak x 2.

On Friday we dropped off the oldest for another year at college. I’m thinking, “She’s a junior. Third times a charm. How hard can it be?” Stuff like that. And truthfully it was easier than it was the previous two years.

Then came Saturday. The day of the week I usually love so much. But this was no ordinary Saturday. This Saturday hurt – BAD. We dropped off Miss Next in Line at another University to begin her freshmen year.

This is no ordinary kid. Like her big sister, she is AMAZING. Intelligent, grounded, vibrant, talented, and ready.

As a parent, I am not sure you are ever ready? I can see now it was foolish to think it would get easier every time. It doesn’t!

So many conversations, games, vacations, ice cream cones, school plays, story times, kisses and hugs are all still here, even though she is not. The memory of each moment reminds me that loneliness is the price we pay for love.

While there is still nothing good about goodbye, there is a silver lining to my dark cloud . . . Fall Break.

This year it will be twice as sweet, because there will be two coming home.

i2i,

Randy

What would be your best piece of advice to someone in college? I will make sure I forward the comments 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disappointment

Over the past couple of weeks I have been looking forward to today. Why?

The Olympics are over, and now I can get some sleep.

Watching the world’s best, night after night, has reminded me that greatness requires sacrifice. Gabby didn’t get lucky and go viral last week. She will forever be known by a single name, not because of a moment, but because of thousands of hours of practice that prepared her for a moment.

But not every Olympic story will end up on a Wheaties box. After yesterday’s mens’ marathon, American Ryan Hall will wake up today and feel disappointment after dropping out of the race, with a hamstring problem, around the nine mile mark.

“I am in shock right now. This is the first time in my life I have ever not finished a race.” Hall said when interviewed.

Truthfully, Ryan worked just as hard as Gabby did, only to see his dreams come crashing down.

So what happens when you work hard and don’t get the results you had hoped for?

You have to make a choice.

You can either go away or go to work.

Hall will need some time to refocus his running career. Eventually though, he will have to decide. He already seems to be on the right track. Just this morning, Hall tweeted (@ryanhall3), “Blessed to have family and friends for encouragement. Getting fresh perspective today.”

After years in prison, the wrongly accused Nelson Mandela once said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Hall’s story is not over and neither is yours. If you have experienced a recent disappointment it is time to rise, put one foot in front of the other, and go to work.

Ultimately, what you achieve will be forgotten, but how you deal with disappointment will be remembered. Especially, by YOU.

i2i,

Randy

What would you say to someone who is dealing with disappointment?


Stay Out of the Shadows

Wednesday afternoon I was out for a run when I found myself going through a tunnel on a local running path.  All of a sudden two women riding on a golf cart came flying into the tunnel.  They were talking faster than they were driving which was scary.  Realizing they were not paying attention, I tried to hug the wall of the culvert.  The ladies slammed on their brakes just before they plastered me.  Thankfully it was dark and I’m pretty sure they couldn’t see that I was starting to cry.

The woman driving looked toward me and said, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t see you in the shadows.”

It is never a good idea for a runner to be in the shadows.  The same can be said for a leader.

Leaders who live in the shadows will eventually shipwreck their influence.  Yet so many leaders have a propensity to try and hide.

Whether you are a Bible reader or not you will recall the Creation story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  When sin entered the world, the Bible tells us that Adam was trying to hide from God.  In Genesis 3:9 Scripture reads, “The LORD God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’”

Let’s be clear.  God was not asking the question because he could not find Adam.  He knew exactly where Adam was.  God cannot be beaten at hide-n-seek.

He asked the question because He wanted to give Adam a chance to come clean.  A chance to“come out of the shadows.”

So where are you?

Are there areas in your life where you are living in the shadows?  Been keeping secrets from your spouse?  Hiding something from your kids?  Holding back on your team?  Skimming financially?  Taking short cuts physically?

If so, you are headed for a collision.  Why not make the decision to come back into the light and pursue a life of integrity?  Why not make the decision to stay out of the shadows.

i2i,

Randy

 

What areas are the most tempting for leaders to “live in the shadows?”

 

 

repost from 6.10.11

Lead by Example

If I had to make a list of my favorite leaders, few would rank higher than former Tennessee Lady Vol basketball coach, Pat Summitt. I won’t even attempt to sum up her career by rattling off impressive statistics, even though she is unmatched by any coach in the men or women’s game.

Last week Summit received the Arthur Ashe ESPY for courage in the face of her fight with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. The battle has recently forced her to step down as the UT coach after 38 years at the helm.

1,098 wins (the most by any coach, man or woman), 16 conference championships, and 8 national championships will leave a void in Vol nation, to say the least. But those are not my favorite Pat Summitt numbers.

Consider this . . . Over the past 38 years every young woman who has laced up her sneakers and played for Pat has gone on to graduate from college. Summitt clearly understood her job was to develop STUDENT-athletes.

And how about . . . Seventy-four of the girls who played for Pat went on to become coaches themselves. Can you say leadership pipeline?

When handed the award, Summitt made a statement that gave those watching a glimpse into her greatness. She said, “I always have tried to lead by example. If I’m not leading by example I’m not doing the right thing, and I always want to be doing the right thing.”

As you lead this week, “lead by example and do the right thing.” Doing so will help your team stay on target with the mission and it might just cause someone to follow in your footsteps.

i2i,

Randy

 

Who is one of your favorite leaders and why?

Nice-N-Easy 118 A

Something looked different. But who’s noticing, right?

Well, I did. And let’s just say, “I like your new hairdo,” was not the thing to point out to my wife.

Her reply took me off guard. “It’s not a hairdo. It’s Nice-N-Easy 118 A.”

What does that even mean raced through my brain, certain I was missing something?

Reading my mind, she stated the obvious. “It is Medium Natural Brown from Clairol.”

Color of the month, who knew?

I am now calling her Nice-N-Easy 118 A. Kind of catchy, huh? Sort of like how she calls me 007 or Agent i2i or Tarzan.

Truthfully, Nice-N-Easy 118 A won’t stick. There are too many other great things about her to better describe who she is.

The fact is there will come a day when all of us will leave our current leadership roles. It could be a job change, retirement, or even death. No matter what causes your departure, you will be described by those left behind with a single sentence. Labeled, if you will.

  • Sweet Kathy, she was a hard worker.
  • Old Perry was always late and in a hurry.
  • Lisa gave the best Christmas gifts and loved chocolate.
  • George was driven by the bottom line and stepped on others to get to the top.
  • Carl was such an encourager.

You will definitely have a sentence. The good news is you don’t have to wait to see what it will be. You can decide right now and then start being and doing what you want them to say.

Influence and reputation are on the line. Your life is too important to leave it to chance. Pick your sentence now and make it your target.

For me, nothing would satisfy me more than for the people who know me best to be able to say, “Randy was a man of integrity

who influenced and encouraged others to reach their full potential.”

I’ll admit, I have a long way to go. But I do have a target. Now all I have to do is keep showing up, and leading out of an authentic heart of love for others.

People will one day sum up your life in one sentence – Choose it now!

I suspect you can do better than, “She was Nice-N-Easy 118 A.”

i2i,

Randy . . . a.k.a. Agent i2i

 

If you could choose the one sentence that will be used to describe your life what would it be?

Comments?

Come out of the Shadows

Wednesday afternoon I was out for a run when I found myself going through a tunnel on a local running path.  All of a sudden two women riding on a golf cart came flying into the tunnel.  They were talking faster than they were driving which was scary.  Realizing they were not paying attention, I tried to hug the wall of the culvert.  The ladies slammed on their brakes just before they plastered me.  Thankfully it was dark and I’m pretty sure they couldn’t see that I was starting to cry.

The woman driving looked toward me and said, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t see you in the shadows.”

It is never a good idea for a runner to be in the shadows.  The same can be said for a leader.

Leaders who live in the shadows will eventually shipwreck their influence.  Yet so many leaders have a propensity to try and hide.

Whether you are a Bible reader or not you will recall the Creation story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  When sin entered the world, the Bible tells us that Adam was trying to hide from God.  In Genesis 3:9 Scripture reads, “The LORD God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’”

Let’s be clear.  God was not asking the question because he could not find Adam.  He knew exactly where Adam was.  God cannot be beaten at hide-n-seek.

He asked the question because He wanted to give Adam a chance to come clean.  A chance to“come out of the shadows.”

So where are you?

Are there areas in your life where you are living in the shadows?  Been keeping secrets from your spouse?  Hiding something from your kids?  Holding back on your team?  Skimming financially?  Taking short cuts physically?

If so, you are headed for a collision.  Why not make the decision to come back into the light and pursue a life of integrity?  Why not make the decision to stay out of the shadows.

 

i2i,

Randy

Thoughts?

 

repost from 6.10.11

What if?

What if you could have any one thing you wanted? What would it be? My hunch is your answer might have something to do with security.

If so, consider the following quote from author, John Steinbeck. “We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it.”

Profound words, but what if?

What if you refused to play it safe? What if you stopped going through the motions and started chasing your dream? What if making a difference took the place of making a living?

A man much wiser than Steinbeck once said, What does it profit a man if he gains the whole and forfeits his soul?”

If today finds your life leaking out of you, it might be time to forget about security and set your sights on significance.

Just a thought.

 

i2i,

Randy

 

Comments?

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Who's Fooling Who?

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”

Those words, attributed to Abraham Lincoln, will hopefully serve as a reminder today that your greatest asset is your integrity.

Who have you been trying to fool lately?

I find that when I try to fool others I end up deceiving myself.

Examine your integrity today and make a fresh commitment to live a life that positions you to influence others in a positive way.

 

i2i,

Randy

 

Comments?

 

repost from 2.17.11

A Force to be Reckoned With

I often hear people describe great athletes, companies, or ideas as a “force to be reckoned with.” I love the word force. It just seems like a word that goes with “to be reckoned with.” Cue the pressure washer.

In his book, Integrity, Henry Cloud reminds us, “One of the words close to character or integrity in meaning is the Hebrew word that is translated virtue. If you trace its origins and meanings, one of the meanings is a ‘force.’ Someone of virtue is a force, and a force always leaves a result. When a hurricane comes through a town you can always see the results of its force.”

Do you realize your integrity is a force to be reckoned with? You either have great character and you are blazing a trail of positive influence, or you have holes in your character and are leaving a force of negative influence along your path.

Never underestimate the influence you are having on your family, team, or friends. People are watching and waiting for someone to leave a positive mark on their world. I say let it be you.

If you want to make today a day of force, the best place to begin is to focus on your integrity, rather than your actions. Refine your character and your actions will follow.

 

i2i,

Randy

 

Comments?

 

 

Responding to Pressure

Yesterday Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos did it again with their improbable overtime playoff victory over the Pittsburg Steelers.

For the past week I listened to countless analysts say that the game would literally determine Tebow’s future as a football player. Deliver a victory and live to fight another day, or loose and “There’s the door.”

There is an old saying, “Pressure busts pipes.”  While the statement is true, there is another side to pressure.

Pressure also reveals character. It literally makes diamonds.

As a leader, your character is revealed most when you face adversity, challenge, and temptation . . . all forms of pressure.

Are you passing the test?

The thing I love about Tebow is that he breaks the character mold as much as he does the football mold.

I hope you have the character to break the mold this week and stand up to the pressure you will face in your environment. If not, today would be a great time to focus on growing your integrity.

 

i2i,

Randy

 

What is your impression of Tim Tebow?

 

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